Chapter Twenty Two: Comment Wall

 

(Image titled “Clouds” by Daniel Spiess on Flickr

Here’s a link to my project site

Comments

  1. I am super excited to read the stories and events from these epic stories as experienced by each of the women in the epics. I feel like the stories are very centered around the men and their duties and wants as men in power. For example, some men have two or three wives in the epics. I think it will be interesting to see how the women feel as just being one wife and the toll it takes on their psyche. Are they accepting and expecting to be just one of many wives? Does it make the favorite wife feel extra superior? Where does their loyalty stem from? Also, I was just curious is you are going to retell the entire Ramayana from Sita's point of view, along with the other women in their stories, or just choose a specific episode to focus on for each woman? The women in each story seem to be very loyal to their role as a woman in each story, and learning about their perspective will definitely enrich the experience and understanding of each of these epics.

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  2. Hi Kassy,
    I loooove your idea to give women a voice in the epic - girl power! I clicked on your story because I saw the title and I was instantly intrigued. Your introduction immediately caught my attention, and I love the stylistic approach to address the reader and clearly assert your familiarity with our knowledge coming in. I am so curious to begin reading the stories! Also, I love the idea of writing them like an interview. When preparing to write your stories, which role will the interviewer play? Is the interviewer present with the women as the stories are being played out, or is this an interview occurring in modern time and looking back at the women's pasts? Also, I think it will be really important to include a thorough author's note, for comparing the women's side with the original story that was mainly told focusing on the man will show how much was missed without giving the women a voice.
    You have such a great idea. I am confident that your stories will be amazing!
    Sincerely,
    Rachel

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  3. Hi Kassy!
    I love the plot of your Storybook! I will always, always get behind anything that gives the woman a voice so I think this is a great topic choice. One suggestion I have would be to describe in detail some of the specific instances you hope to portray from the female's perspective (if you have them planned out) because this would help your audience to settle into the Storybook quicker. For instance, we should know who these women are, but that doesn't mean you can't give us a little background information to refresh our minds and you could also include which specific scenes you plan to recreate in these descriptions as well. The more specific, the better! Your inclusion of your Storybook inspiration also helped me to be more interested in this Storybook so that was a nice choice to get your readers involved. I'm super excited for the plot of this Storybook and I anticipate that you'll do great things with it. Excellent job so far!

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  4. Hey Kassy! I love the fact that you are writing about women from Indian epics and especially Sita from the Ramayana! The slope story between Rama and Sita is one full of adventure and heartbreak. I like how you added a twist where Sita decides to leave Rama and look out for herself. You wrote the story of Sita where she was strong and independent but also vulnerable which the actual Ramayana does not really emphasize. Many critiques have been made of how the Ramayana portrays Sita especially when Rama makes her prover her innocence to him if they were to stay together. This type of thinking is not so mainstream today and I like how you kind of touched on that evolution. I look forward to reading more of your work this semester and wish you the best as you continue in this course!

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  5. Hey Kassy, I really enjoy your strong statement with your writing. You have a creative writing style and creativeness. You show such emotion and build in the depth of your characters and it truly shows in your piece. I think you have chosen an awesome theme in your storybook. I really enjoy your dialogue, it gave your characters a better chance to show their emotions and feelings. You picked a great theme, as there is plenty of room for growth in this story. I would try to figure out ways to build more drama between characters and really focus on the dialogue to bring out the emotions in the characters. This will allow the readers to show empathy or even sympathy. I will check your storybook in the later weeks to see where you go with this story if you chose to build on it. Overall I believe you did a great job in your post. Keep up the good work.

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  6. Hi Kassy, it looks like you are ahead of the game and your hard work is noticed! After reading through your website, I wanted to compliment you on how pleasing each of your stories is and how easy they are to follow. In each of your stories, you did a great job of expressing each character's responses with enthusiasm and concern. I like how you split up each of the character's dialogue. I like how you used a combination of stories from the Ramayana in the Kaikeyi story and used different elements to portray the various stories. I noticed that you went outside the box by giving Sita a different representation, more-so to modern-day culture. I think this aspect is super important and shows how powerful women truly are. This change was my favorite alteration you made to your story and I look forward to reading more about the presence of women throughout the Ramayana and the Mahabharata, from your perspective.

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  7. Hi Kassy,
    I really like the interview format of your portfolio! It is really satisfying to be able to read something like that because it feels like you have the chance to ask the characters the questions that you couldn't ask during the story. It is also a really nice way to take a deeper look at their motivations behind their actions.
    I liked Sita's interview a lot because it helped make her character more realistic for me. A lot of the sentiments she expresses are very relatable.
    I was a little skeptical of the interview with Kaikeyi. I understood the point that you were trying to make about getting both sides of a story, but I felt like in the context of the Ramayana there was just no reason to think that she had been poisoned.
    At the same time, I did find what you wrote in the author's note interesting. You said that you wanted to make the story true to life, and sometimes real life does work like that. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, and the truth behind a situation might be something utterly unexpected.
    Maybe this reflects one of the fundamental differences between literature and life; that stories are written with a purpose and no matter how cryptic or abstract a piece of writing may be, it was crafted by an author to evoke a response on the reader, whereas real life is much more random and unpredictable and leaves no breadcrumb trails.

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  8. Hi Kassy!
    I love this idea, and am so excited that you chose this topic. Women are definitely represented poorly in the stories that we have read over the semester, and I am glad that you decided to give them the voice that they deserve. This was definitely something that I noticed throughout the readings, as so many bad things have happened to the female characters, but no one ever seems to be remorseful about it. They are treated more like pawns, it seems, rather than actual characters, when they have so much potential to be interesting character! I feel like throughout the stories, they have been villainized, despite the fact that many of their actions were just results of issues that the men caused. I really like the format of the story, as it gives insight to their thoughts and helps explain the scenes in a way that shows us what went down from their perspective. I really like the layout as well, as it is very easy to navigate, but also aesthetically pleasing. Great job!

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  9. Hello Kassy!
    I really like this talk-show type format that you decided to use for your portfolio! I think that if something like what happened with Rama and Sita happened in modern day, this would be the kind of interview Sita would have with the talk-show host. Since they would be equivalent to Hollywood couples and Rama is obviously in the wrong from our modern perspective, a lot of what Sita says seems like a very possible dialogue from her. I also think that this format gives us more perspective on how Sita must have felt according to how you've read the story. It seems like many of us had similar thoughts that Sita was wronged horribly as well. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your work and hope to read some more later! Keep up the good work.

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  10. Hello Kassy! First I want to address the style of writing you decided to follow. I enjoyed seeing a style of writing that is different from others. I just finished commenting on a similar theme as yours. One of our fellow classmates, named Emily also followed the theme of having strong female empowerment in their writing. This is fantastic to see, and amazing to read about. It is awesome to see how different people see the roles of character in their stories. By choosing a style in which you allowed your character's roles to be more open is amazing. It allows for the audience such as myself to grasp a better connection with your story. You showed great ability in writing. You can maybe think of a final story that incorporates many female characters' presence in order to show a more powerful image to your audience. Overall I really enjoyed your stories, keep up the good work.

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  11. Hi Kassy,
    I really enjoyed reading your first story and your style of writing was very good. The pictures in this storybook are very good. The first story you used three pictures that all added extra meaning. You used the forrest to give us setting, a character picture, and an enemy picture of the snake. I did not feel like you were wasting space by using three pictures but you were better able to strengthen the picture that was in my mind. The second story in your story book could maybe benefit from having some pictures that go along with it. It would go nicely along with the talk show idea. I remember reading that story at some point a long time ago in the semester so I am glad you are still working on it and making it better. You have done a great job. Keep up the good work and using great pictures for your stories.

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  12. Hey Kassy! One of the things I had contemplated creating my project about was the women of Indian Epics. There is so much literature to draw inspiration from, and you have created just such a lovely story book! I love that you included Sita and told stories from her point of view. I love the entire aesthetic of your page, it just looks so professional! Also, the art that you have chosen works incredibly well for your project. I also find your writing to be just fantastic! I wish there was a bit more narration and less dialogue, but I think it works! It could work very well as a play adaptation of the story because you have it practically written as a script! Overall, great work!

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  13. Hello again Kassy!

    Your Storybook is turning out great so far! I think the first time I checked in, you only had your introduction so it's nice to see it has progressed so far. I'm really loving the tone that you imbued each of your main characters with and I think you stuck very much in character which I really enjoyed. I also really liked the setup of a talk show host and a guest star, very inventive!

    As to your Author's Notes, I think it's very useful that you don't just stick to the facts of the stories, but you express how your writing process came along and why you decided to write each story the way you did. It gave me an insight into each story that was much appreciated. I would suggest maybe adding some more details in your notes about what the original stories were like just so your audience could have a point of comparison.

    It's looking great! Good job.

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  14. Hello Kassy,
    I just read your story 'Sita', and really enjoyed the way you portrayed your interpretation of Sita's feelings and thoughts. I think that the interview-style set up with back-and-forth dialogue was the best way to be direct and answer questions about Sita. It was also a clever way to move the audience/reader along. I noticed that when I had a question or needed a refresher during the conversation, Ganesha would ask what I had been wondering, and the random question would be less of a sidebar and more of a contribution to the story! I also liked the ending of your story, and how it was different. I think the idea and concept of an independent, yet strong women is an important figure that should be prevalent in literature, but by also giving her a vulnerable side, I think you create a more real-life character that many women can relate with. Vulnerability doesn't make someone any less strong or independent, but it allows them to address their weaknesses and have the opportunity to grow from them. The only suggestion I would have is to emphasize and highlight more on this message, other than that I think the story was great!

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